3/31/2024 0 Comments 3 generation relatioship genogramOn the third day of the workshop, a fellow student asked the teacher if there was a particular technique or a type of music he recommended for meditating. Genograms use symbols to uncover patterns in your family history. Why was I suddenly agitated by the noise of the vent? And while it is true that I do hold a lot of muscular tension in my hands when I practice yoga, drive, or exercise, does that mean anything more, or did I just say the first thing that popped into my head? Finally, the bell sounded and we were set free. Should I get up? Should I leave this mental discomfort? Good Lord, please don’t let me be having one of those hysterical burst-into-tears moments you see in the movies. This day, however, the noise caused a sense of dread. I have even learned to use it as a tool for meditation. The sound of blowing white noise comforted me like a blanket, and it has ever since. I remember lying on the floor and looking up at the ceiling vent. I was three, maybe four, left at a relative’s home overnight and terrified to be away from my mother. I tried, but more attention-grabbing was the sound of the HVAC system, which always brings me back to a particular memory from childhood. My teacher asked us to focus our minds on the noise of the rain. After the embarrassing episode with the long-admired yoga instructor, I pondered my blurted answer well into the next day as we all sat in meditation. Although simple in theory, Greek philosopher Thales mused, “The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself.” The notion that self-knowledge is the key to all knowledge can be traced back to the 6th century, when sages, philosophers, and scientists looked to the microcosm of the individual self to better understand the macrocosm - the universe we all share. We can see how our behaviors overlap with theirs and understand the common thread in our collective, shared humanity. When we know ourselves, we have a greater ability to understand others. She continues to use her personal experience and the power of this tool to illustrate how behaviors - both constructive and destructive - can be modeled, taught, and passed down through generations. Exploring her familial patterns, she discovered that drug, alcohol, and other abuses were not uncommon. I found genograms through yoga instructor Nikki Myers, a once-struggling addict turned teacher and founder of Yoga for 12-Step Recover (Y12SR), who used the genogram model as a method of personal recovery. ![]() Many use genograms to try to answer this question. The sinking feeling of embarrassment washed over me as I slinked off wondering what in the hell that even meant. Feeling the pressure, I blurted, “That I hold a tremendous amount of tension in my hands.” He cocked his head and looked at me quizzically. I had not expected to need a thoughtful comment about my experience. He looked at me, and said, “What is one thing you learned about yourself tonight?” Feeling inspired, relaxed, and hazy after one of his yoga practices, I went to say hello. After months of studying online with a long-admired yoga teacher, I finally got to meet and practice with him in person. My face flushed with embarrassment - I wasn’t sure what my answer even meant. Here, in Part 3, we explore the genogram, a technique for mapping relationships and behaviors within our family trees and its potential to help us create more compassion, understanding, and ease in our own lives. ![]() As our self-knowledge grows, so does our need to understand our interconnectedness and how relationships and familial patterns have influenced our lives. By now, a sense of our inner lives and our view of the world is revealing itself. We have explored in previous installments of Know Thyself the benefits of connecting with and continually realigning our values, intentions, and goals as well as discovering the strengths and pitfalls of our particular personality traits.
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